Slice of Work #14 — The Man Who Hired His Boss

I knew Thomas who wanted to move out of his firm and had landed a cushy job in the same city that he lived in. A big plus. The added advantage was the prospect of some stocks that would fetch him good money. He seemed coasting along in his life after he had put down his papers.

As was his nature, he called up a few of his friends to let them know about it. When he called up one of his ex-team members, Sheen, he got a strange response. While all others had supported his move, Sheen was hesitant and Thomas asked him about it. Sheen said, “Thomas, I have been thinking about who should be my new boss in the firm that I have joined. I think it should be you.” Thomas was a bit hesitant but he asked Sheen to progress the referral.

Things moved fast and he got selected. It was an MNC and the leaders he met were very fine people. He forgot all about the stock and the money. It did not seem to matter. The only rub was that it was in another city. He called up Sheen and told him about his selection. Sheen was at his persuasive best to take the job. Thomas consulted his family and the shift happened. A new city, a new culture and new settings.

Thomas grew in his role and did well for himself as I knew he would. I have often thought of Sheen. He was so selfless and had the courage to ask his ex-boss to join the firm that he was working. In a way he hired his boss. I knew Sheen and asked him the reason for asking Thomas to join his firm and laughingly he said, “A known devil is better than an unknown one.” He is a good man and I don’t think I learnt enough from him, he added.

Sheen moved on to become a leader in another firm and is doing well for himself. Leaders are made, and made differently. Each one of them. The best of them find goodness in others and even hire them as their bosses.

Slice of Work #14 — How to Ace a Job Interview

A few thoughts for Early Career Professionals

An interview is an opportunity to showcase your best, beyond your resume to land a job. It gives a chance to be ourselves in a setting that sometimes is uncomfortable. There is a palpable tension leading to a poor attempt and a couple of such ‘failures’ tend to affect us personally, a downward spiral of sorts. Despite all of this, there is a way in which we can make these interactions work to our advantage with a few things that may not be that obvious.

First things first, check out the job description or JD of the position that you are applying to. Many JDs are vague and it is best to prepare and ask questions even prior to the interview. Next, ask yourself if this is something you really like to do. Don’t force yourself on something you do not like to do. It will show at the interview, you cannot fake it. Prepare, prepare, and prepare well for the interview. Review your resume and there are things that you may want to highlight.

Common questions will be around your strengths and weakness. Write them down. Your accomplishments, some work that you are proud of, a strong story that they will remember much after you left the setting. Make sure you know the company and it helps if you can google the person who you are going to be interviewing with. Play the tape in your mind of what you wish to say. Know what you want and don’t beat around the bush.

Be on time, a tad early, if you can. Even if they are late to the interview, just ignore it. Be sure to understand the culture of the place. Don't be in your formal best in a place that has business casuals as a dress code. In both cases, shine your shoes, wear clothes that shows you off in professional light. It is better to be a tad overdressed.

A firm handshake and looking the person in the eye in a warm way helps. Interviewers have a bias for people who are likeable. Be at your positive best. And confident. Speak slowly. It is not a time to show your oratory skills and language proficiency. You need to be clear and articulate of what you are capable of and what value you can bring.

Do not bad mouth your current company or your manager who you work for. If you say something like ‘better opportunities’ and then say things around what you find interesting in the prospective company, that is a good way out. Do not fumble and take long gaps in responding. If you do not know, it is better to say so. Be measured in the way you speak. Your conviction must shine through your words.

Be honest and prepared to respond to “What questions do you have for me?” This is a great chance for you to know more about the company, the job. Be thoughtful, and this is where your preparation helps. Always thank the person for taking time out. Above all, close well. With a smile. They will remember you long after you left the room. Wish you the best!

Slice of Work #12 — 'Speak up': When Most Needed...

It was one of those late night conference calls, with some top leaders of the company on it. A delicate matter to discuss. Some months ago an engineer left the shores of India for Canada on a project. He had contracted encephalitis – brain fever, potentially fatal. The doctors gave up and recommended ‘hospice’ – a euphemism for allowing to meet his Maker, outside of the hospital. Huge bills besides efforts had not helped.

The call was for all of sixty minutes. Someone started and said that the case was a hopeless one and that the lad should be put out of his misery. Another said that his wife in India insisted on his shifting to India. This would need an air ambulance and that meant a special aircraft which would, apart from huge cost, had to land every five hours, per international rules. The call went off in the direction that the exorbitant cost and the low survival chance played in the favor of a ‘hospice’ resolution. The call was almost at its end. The decision almost taken.

On the call was a shy and a junior manager who was overwhelmed with the high ranking leaders on it. How could he speak? And he had been quiet all along but his inner voice egged him on. With two minutes to spare he hesitatingly started – ‘This boy would be alive had he not left the shores of India. We have more of such medical cases in India and there is a good chance that the doctors can cure him. Besides, he served the firm the best way he could. We have a responsibility to him. Leaders, let us bring the soldier home’. He was sweating, but he had said his piece. There was a huge silence. After what seemed like an eternity the leader said – ‘Folks, I agree. We carry a vicarious responsibility and the lad has served us well. Let us send the soldier home.’

Fast forward. After all the stoppages of the air ambulance enroute, a devoted wife, and after six months of hospitalization, Alok went back to work to a thunderous applause,. The manager who spoke up that day sported a smile. He had learnt his lesson, as did many on the call.

Slice of Work #11 — 'Show up': A Priceless Lesson in Motivation

It was a cold winter morning of 26th Jan, very many years ago in Gomia, a small town in Bihar. He had woken up at 4.30 and was at the factory grounds, all excited to participate in the mini Marathon in a difficult terrain of undulating lands, finishing at the factory gates. He was the only Management Trainee ( MT) at the event. For over 20 years, there has been only one winner – Viktor Lakra, a seasoned runner, a well- built local chap. The MT was all scrawny and a kid by comparison to Lakra.

The race started with over 50 runners.The roads were rough,the climb tortuous, the downs, pleasant. Lakra was pounding the gravel in a rhythmic fashion. There was no way anyone could over-take this guy. He kept at it and make sure that no one was anywhere near him. And then came the climb, one of the steepest, the one where you just want to give up and just hobble. Not Lakra, he was lapping it up. And the trainee was exhausted and almost giving up.

Just then he heard a booming voice, a voice that used some choicest unprintable words, goading him into action. This man on a scooter at 5.30 am driving alongside, coaxing him to run and not give up. He did not care about the winter morning or the fact that the MT was not even in his department. All he wanted was for him to persist. The words helped. The MT started to run fiercely, his strides were getting better. Daljit Singh who had no business to be up that early in the morning, provided the much needed words of encouragement, and to a Management Trainee he cared for.

It was the home run, and just some 50 meters. Lakra was ahead and the MT was tiring, and Daljit was screaming. The MT put some real zing into the final kick and ran like never before, and past Lakra in the final 10 mts and into the ribbon and collapsed in a heap. All worn out and tired with the sweet sweat of success streaming down his face. Lakra patted him on his head and vanished. Daljit came up and instead of shaking the MT's hand, gave an affectionate slap. His brimming smile, mustachioed face and twinkling eyes said it all - the MT had won.

What mattered was that someone showed up. What does it take for someone to goad another in their hour of need? What motivated them to do this for another in a selfless way? 'Puttar, just make sure that you show up and cheer others and help them find their zone, and you will find yours' he one said. Motivation is more about giving than receiving. A selfless act that can be only returned by paying it forward. That race is still etched in my memory, for I was that Management Trainee. And of Daljit Singh, a man who taught me the foundation of motivation - to show up, coax and cheer.

Slice of Work #10 — 'Stand up': A Lesson in Leadership

I thought I was going to lose my job. It was early in my career and I was the Administration Officer of an MNC in the heart of then, Bihar. I was responsible for guest houses and the Transport. No Uber, Olas or tourist taxis then. We had to make do with company owned cars. The nearest towns were two hours away. And each time a company car went to either Dhanbad or Ranchi, it came back faithfully to the garage for repairs, owed much to the wonderful state of our roads.

We had all of five cars in this explosives factory and all of them were in the sick bay. An officer had requisitioned a car and I explained that no cars were available. He was upset and said that production was at stake and that I was responsible ! I was stressed out. What was I to do? I had no cars to give him. The situation was grim. As expected, the General Manager of the factory called me to his room. It was a long walk to his office. This was the second time that this had happened under my watch.

As soon as I walked in he started to pound me without giving me a chance to explain. He would not relent. I was in a daze. The room started to look large and I was weak in my knees as he went on his tirade Suddenly the door opened without a warning and my boss barged into the room and physically stood in front of me blocking me off from the GM and said – ‘While the lad is responsible, I am accountable for this failure. What can he do when all the cars are worn out? I should have budgeted for new cars. If anything, ask me, not him.’ He then turned to me and asked me to leave the room. I did not wait, I ran.

My boss returned to his room in some time. Spoke nothing other than to say that it was all taken care of. He had turned in his own personal car for the job. And patted me on my back and said that he should have given him a heads up. My anxieties fizzled in that moment, and I was teary eyed. Much later, I would realize that I had had the experience of what true leadership meant – to ‘stand up’ for your team member in the hour of need. It was easy for him to throw me under the bus, but he didn’t. I have never forgotten Capt. Arvind Nautiyal. Thank you Captain for giving me a great lesson in leadership – To Stand Up.

Slice of Life #11 — Lighting a Lamp of Hope

When trouble comes it descends in a tsunami, perhaps. She was a sprightly girl once. Working in a fine firm with fine friends Got got married to someone in Singapore and had to leave her job. Not a happy marriage I guess for he deserted her. Not the one to give up so easily she found a job in a good MNC. Life moved on till one day she fainted on the stairs in the subway. And rushed to the hospital in Singapore. Was diagnosed with cancer. Fast forward, she was moved to the Tata Cancer Hospital at Mumbai.

Her close friend Vinay from her previous company came to know of this.He called her ex- boss and they both decided to visit her.. The boss had stuffed an envelope in his shirt pocket. He was not the hospital going chap and was scared of such places. Vinay was far stronger. They reached the place and met the girl’s parents. Emotions were high and eyes were teary, and the boss found it difficult to cope. She lay on the bed, almost reduced to a skeleton and she tried her best to avert her eye.

The ex-boss looked at her and waved the envelope, ‘This is an appointment letter waiting for you Mo, and I don’t have all the time in the world. Your team is missing you. So get well soon and I will see you at work in a month. I hope you got that.’ He did not wait for her response. Just turned around and walked out. Scared I guess. Vinay noticed tears welling up in her eyes. He stayed back a few minutes, held her hand. No words were spoken. And yet a poignant conversation ensued. Much later she did say to her parents that after their visit, her racking pain had abated.

Mohini, did return to work in her old firm. It took a few months for her to recover from the dreaded illness. Her ebullience was back and so was the cheer. She continued to dazzle people with her professionalism and humanness. All it took was a couple of guys to infuse a sense of purpose. And let her know that she was valued, that she was needed. They went there to light the lamp of hope, to feed the faith that life holds. In a caring way, albeit differently. And it worked. Faith heals, and hope feeds that faith. One needs a purpose to live… a life of purpose. Life is indeed beautiful.

Slice of Work #9 — Running up a Lesson in Motivation

It was a cold winter morning of the 26th Jan very many years ago. I had woken up at 4.30 and was at the factory grounds, all excited to participate in the mini Marathon of some 15 km or so of undulating lands. We were to run to a spot and then return, and the finish line was at the factory gates. I was a Management Trainee and was fond of long distance running. For over 20 years, there has been only one winner – Viktor Lakra, a seasoned runner, a well- built local. I was all scrawny and a kid by comparison to Lakra.

The race started and Lakra was off like a rabbit and with over 50 people in tow. It was a long race. The roads were undulating and the climb was tortuous, and the downs pleasant. Ahead of me by a few meters was Lakra, and he was pounding the asphalt in a rhythmic fashion. There was no way I could over-take this hulk. I kept at it and make sure that I was somewhere near him. And then came the climb, one of the steepest, the one where you wanted to give up and just hobble. Lakra was lapping it up. And I was almost giving up.

Just then I heard a booming voice, a voice that goaded me into some action with some pleasantries of the morning in words that I dare not print. He was on a Chetak scooter, this man called Daljit Singh, who at 5.30 am was coaxing me to run and not give up. He did not care about the winter, or the fact that I was not even in his function. All he wanted was for me to run. Something got into me.I seized the moment and started to run and my strides were getting better. Daljit provided the much needed words of support to a kid he cared for.

It was the home run of some 50 meters. Lakra was ahead and I was tiring. Daljit was screaming. I put some zing into the final kick and ran like never before, past Lakra in the final 20 mts and into the ribbon and collapsed in a heap. All worn out and tired with the sweet sweat of success streaming down my face. Lakra patted me on my head and vanished. Daljit came up and instead of shaking my hand gave me an affectionate slap. His brimming smile, mustachioed face and twinkling eyes said it all. I had won.

What does it take for someone to goad another in their hour of need? What motivates the motivator? Daljit was one who everyone would give their right arm to work for. He left an indelible mark on me. As he said once to me – Puttar, just cheer others and help them find their zone, and you will find yours. Motivation is more about giving than receiving. More about getting another find their edge. A selfless act that can be only returned by paying it forward. That race is still etched in my memory of a man who taught me the foundation of motivation- Daljit Singh.

Slice of Work #8 — Driving a Lesson in Humility

I was a freshly minted graduate of a leading B School and wore its stripes proudly on my shoulders. I was to join an MNC in one of their plants in Gomia, Bihar as a Management Trainee. They chose only the best. And I was full of it, all puffed up. The night train from Calcutta would reach Gomia in the morning. I had a letter that said that there would be a car to pick me up from the station and take me to the guest house.

The coal fired engine creaked up to the station and I alighted with my canvas hold-all, yes we had such things in those days. There was not a soul in sight to receive me. I felt let down. I heaved the luggage on my shoulder and came to the exit. There I saw a nice car the driver in a khaki shorts and a white colored tee shirt was walking towards the car. Aah, my driver, there he was!

I went up to him and rudely asked him to open the trunk and keep my luggage. He asked me in Hindi who I was and I introduced myself. All this in a condescending way, and asked him to take me to the Guest House. He said he would be happy to drop me. He heaved the luggage in and opened the rear door and had me seated and asked me if I was comfortable. This was getting better.

All through the ride he asked me questions about my family etc in a kind sort of way. I was getting irritated with a driver who spoke too much. At the guest house a couple of the staff ran up to the car and saluted me.They respectfully carried my luggage. I waved out to the driver who wished me the best in my new job. The next day was a big day. I was to meet the big daddy of the place- the Chief Executive – Dr. S.K.Varma. And I was nervous.

At the appointed time, I knocked on the door and walked in.The big man in his factory overalls, had his back to me and as he turned, I burst out – 'Hey what are you doing in this office?' He gave me a broad smile and in chaste English said he was Dr. Varma, and asked me to take a seat. I choked and could have died in that instant. I apologized profusely for my behavior and was at a loss for words. He said that he had come to the station to see off a friend. And he had seen me and wanted to be of assistance. And played along for he knew I had mistaken him to be a driver.

He offered me tea. Said that outside of work one should not wear their education, only use them. As I waked away I learnt the greatest lesson in humility. So, the guest house staff were actually saluting him, not me!!. My ego came crashing down, my stripes i lost. Shoulders hunched, weighing heavily with lessons learnt, I exited his office.

Humility is playing a role, any role, sans ego, whatever the role be. Even if this were that of a driver. In so doing, Dr. Varma drove home a lesson in humility.

Slice of Work #6 — A Rejected Job Offer & Integrity

This was many years ago, when I was a recruiting manager and I was asked to find a leader for a function based out of Delhi for an MNC that I was working for. It was a difficult assignment and I was really at my wits end, for the skills were rare in those days and my boss was looking for a strong-willed person. Finally, I found someone from Bangalore. He was an interesting person and warm and genuine.

The rounds of interviews grew longer and this was a good sign as any recruiter would know. We all loved him. Next, a job offer was to be made. And it was on terms that he did not have to argue about as it was a very generous one and he knew it. In those days, if you throw in a big car and a house it was a big deal. We also offered him admissions to the school of his choice for his children.

His wife and children went school hunting and things were settled. He was on, and life was good. He had resigned from his company and I was “keeping him warm” – an expression for making sure that we did not lose him to any other company after he resigned. Suddenly, out of the blue, the phone rang and my boss called me to his room. It was urgent, he said.

When I went to his room he showed me a letter. It was from the potential hire. He thanked us profusely and said that he was regretful that he would not take up our offer. Said that he decided to rescind our offer for family reasons. His father was unwell. He was most apologetic and said, he could never repay us for our efforts and for enormous goodness that he experienced. He added that he was enclosing a check for Rs. 30,000 to partly compensate for all our expenses incurred with his recruitment. And that it would never be a restitution for all what we have done for him.

My boss was a fine man. He wrote back to the person to say that he was most taken in with his uprightness and that he would wait for another three months, and of course not encash his cheque, etc. As expected, the man did not show up. But what showed up was his integrity and character. I could never forget the man. And he did give us some leads on who could be a suitable and ‘better’ person for the job. He stayed in touch with me, and each time he would start the conversation with an apology for wasting our time and energy. And I would wish there were more like him in this world.

Slice of Work #5 — Appraisals: Year-Ends and New Beginnings

It was one of those dreaded meetings. The very thought of getting to discuss appraisals with his new reporting manager was daunting. It had been not been the best of years, and Vasu knew it. But did not want to acknowledge it. The previous year was a great one for him. It was a long walk to the manager's cabin.

VG his manager shook hands with him and asked him to “take the chair.” It sounded ominous already. VG was gentle and invited him to speak about the high points of the year and what played to his strengths. VG kept nodding his head and was encouraging, And playing back his strengths to him. Not a trace of the dreaded word “but…”

VG summarized his accomplishments and asked him as to what he thought were things that could have been done better and asked, “How can I be of support to you? Vasu was in full flow now and held back nothing. He blurted out his failings. And VG said 'it is okay to have a setback and important to look ahead'.” And then the questions about what he wanted to do in his career and what he was good at. This was getting better!

VG, a well-respected man and had a sterling career of over 25 years. He broke into a monologue. Said that there would be some great years and some not so good ones. Difficult for anyone to have an outstanding year, year on year he said. Some ups and some downs were part of the journey.

It was most important to focus on becoming a better professional. And the years that were the down years, were the ones that taught him the most. Focus on the upward trajectory of personal growth. And as for compensation, it would follow you like your shadow, he added smilingly.
Made sense. Vasu felt much better and accepted that he had had a ‘modest’ year. And VG was not even focused on that. Vasu was looking at his mirror, but this mirror told him what he was capable of as well. His focus was clear, he would play to his strengths. He would be a better professional. The best. The ‘chair’ was only a seat after all. He walked out with a hope, an agenda and a smile spreading on his face.

Slice of Life #8 — Of Delayed Flights and Choices We Make

It was one of those days, many years ago, when everything went wrong. I was to attend a meeting in one city, come back, and then leave for an overseas trip that night. The meeting went off well, and it ended on time. The flight back was at 5.30 PM. The road to the airport was devoid of traffic and things were going on plan. I reached the airport only to learn that that the flight was delayed to 7.30 PM. That would mean a touch and go for me. I decided to check if there were other flights.

There was one at 6.45 PM, by a reliable carrier that was usually on time. I had a choice of getting on to this one and cancel my original flight which would leave only by 7.30 PM. I was caught on the horns of a dilemma. Should I now change to a new carrier, or should I stick to the original? I checked with the attendant and she told me that even though the flight was delayed it would start at 7.30.

How was I to know if my delayed flight would take off even at 7.30? And there was an option to take another flight. Times like these you have to make a hard choice. I decided that I would stick to my decision. I would leave by the 7.30 flight. No change. My wife used to say that it pays to quieten down, not get distracted and focus. The flight took off on time and I made the International connection. By the way, the reliable carrier’s flight was delayed by an hour! I had learnt a lesson.

It is easy to waver in times of stress and be swayed by choices. And staying the course is a choice. Years ago, I made such a choice. It was an opportunity to move to a new function and job. I decided to stick with the same firm and the function. At that time I did not know if that was a good choice or not, and I don’t know that even today. I do know that choices will keep coming up. And each time it is another test, not of choices but of the mind and what happens thereafter.

The choices we make take us on a journey. Instead of looking at the destination and comparing it with others, enjoying the journey is a great way of putting that choice to good use. So, it is not the choice that makes the difference, it is what we do about what choices we make. We really don’t ‘arrive,’ we keep enjoying the journey, and when we do, we truly arrive!

Slice of Life #5 — Falling in Line

It was one of those crazy Monday mornings at the airport. Almost all of the city had converged to take the flight that day, or so it seemed.

These days you have to have to stand in queue with one hand carrying a tray for you to deposit the laptop, your jacket, mobile, etc., and the other is the stroller bag. And to secure one of those trays for these kinds of flight is like getting a big fat lottery. Sometimes, I think someone is going to make some great suggestion as to how we should have a seamless way to deposit our luggage for airport scrutiny.

I was in one of those long queues and I almost made it to the tray lot when a big, wide-bodied, chiseled, tall man walked in front of me and took a tray. Clearly he had jumped the queue. I was touched to the quick and of course, did not want to raise my voice and was going to make a meek sound of protest. Except, my inner voice was a lot louder and I heard myself speak in a firm and polite way: “Excuse me, gentleman. There is a queue here. Would you mind joining it please?” And looked at him and smiled. My fellow queue guys looked at me in horror. The hulk looked at me for a moment, and gave up and meekly said, “Oh, I did not know that.” A lie that I gladly glossed over, and proceeded with my deposits into the scanner. Chose not to make eye contact, I murmured a “thank you.”

Of course, then you join the queue for the physical check. And that took a while, and I reached the other side to wait for my bags to get through the scanner. And I espied the queue on the other side and saw the hulk near the trays. Just then, another gentleman sneaked in and took a tray and stood ahead of the hulk. This was interesting. The hulk politely said to him, “Excuse me sir, there is a queue here, do you mind?”

Just then the heavens smiled, as did I, for this whole business of ‘falling in line’ was falling in line! Just sometimes, you have to speak up and stand up for what you believe in, even in the face of consequences. For that is important. It is!

Slice of Life #4 — Security Check and the Gift

My friend from an MNC called me. Said my referral was the best and spoke ceaselessly about her.

This was some years ago. It was the downturn time, and I had just stopped at the office security. Jhaji, was the most respectful of the security guards at work. Often he would smile at employees who had to suffer the ripping open of their bags to check for something that is forbidden to bring into the workplace, guns or knives for instance. Of course, he did not expect to find anything, and gently zipped up the bags. Many times I have noticed the wry look of the employees, almost to say, “Hey, you have seen me so very many times. Do you seriously think I have something to conceal? Or, do I look like a terrorist?”

Some have even shouted at him for delaying their getting to work. He would always be respectful and apologize for the inconvenience caused. The smile never abated. I could learn a thing or two from him. What a man! He made quite an impression on his colleagues and so, many of those around would mimic his pleasant service. I felt sorry for him many times and wondered what it meant for him to work this way each day, every day.

One day, he had asked to meet me. I had always wanted to give him something, a small gift for him – a pen. I was sure he would like it. He knocked on the door, and a disarming smile met me. He was hesitant. Said, “I have a favor to ask of you. I have a daughter who has done her BE in Computer Science, and would you be kind enough to refer her for a job, to another MNC (that was close by).”

It was time for me to be surprised. I looked at the impressive resume, and asked him why I could not consider her for our own company, and he said, “Not while I am working here, sir. I don’t want the girl to be embarrassed.”

I promised help and was determined to do my best. He walked away quickly. And I forgot to give him the gift. I was lost in thought – behind this person there is life beyond security checks and smiles – an aspiration for a better tomorrow. What gift could I give him? He had given me the greatest gift, of a purpose to life, regardless of your circumstances.

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Slice of Life #3 — Subway Bags & Rubber Bands

My mother is a ‘collector’ of things and taught me to collect small things for “you never know when they will come handy,” she said. My father was a quintessential ‘disposer’ of things and taught me those skills. On an average, I was fine. Most times I would do some spring cleaning.

At times, unknown to me I would pick up things and ‘salt’ them away. Like the plastic bag that we got our subway sandwich in. One of those is long and six-inch wide so you can take your foot-long in peace. I came to my hotel room, and kept the bag in the drawer and forgot about it.

It was one of those days when things did not go right. I wanted to iron my shirt, and the iron fell off the board. In my anxiety to avoid burning a hole in my shirt, I instinctively reached out to the iron, and somehow I burnt the reverse of my palm. Nothing major, but it was an ugly one. I applied some ointment and went to bed.

The next day, I had to keep the burns from water contamination. And take a shower as well. I remembered the subway plastic bag, and slipped over my right palm. The rubber band of the used baggage tag came in handy as it kept the plastic bag in place. Love the airlines for the tags. It was a great shower. I was smiling at my ingenuity. I could use the soap with plastic covered hand. That was a life saver. The doctor was pleased that I had taken the right steps and made some positive comments about it. I was gloating, the pain notwithstanding. I owe a lot to my ‘collector’ side of a mother in me.

What should I collect and what do I dispose off? Diwali is fast approaching ... And I smiled, thinking of my parents.

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Slice of Life #2 — When Bargain Isn't One

My father taught me to shop for vegetables and some more. Each Saturday morning we used to set out to the bazaar at 6 am. The vegetables would have arrived, neatly laid on the jute sheets on the ground. Expectant vendors waiting for the first visitor to their stall. Anticipation was high. I walked with my dad, a stocky genial and cheery man. He took me all around the place and wished all the vendors a cheery morning while evaluating where the veg was fresh. Also, carefully noting the cost of each of the produce.

He asked me to note them down in my head and I was to let him know where to shop for the lowest cost. Also, he carefully noted where the special vegetables were available. Once in a while, he bent to feel the lady’s finger to test its tenderness and teach me too. Finally when he was done, he told me that we were ready. I was to reel off the places where we got the best deals. He always settled on some old vendor withered with wrinkles of days spent in the sun. The price was always a tad more than others. He would not bargain. Said it was a sign of respect to the vendor. Did not care if we paid more. Said that they worked harder than us. And vendors would cry out for my dad to visit them: “Aiyerre, come here!”

I learnt much from him that it is important to know the lay of the land, be generous and kind, settle only for the best, even if this was a bit more, and most of all, help someone who could do with your assistance. These days I try to visit the farmer’s market at Mehdipatnam. And take my sons too. And in fond remembrance of my dad ask myself – What would he want me to do!

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Slice of Life #1 — A Bittersweet Pill

Many years ago, I used to work in a small town. As a normal practice, while I was leaving work for home, I called my wife if there was anything to be bought for the house. It wasn’t easy going home and then getting ready to go to the bazaar after a long day’s work. I was asked to buy some medicine for my ailing mother. It was a common medicine and there were four medical shops along the way home. I was on my scooter and as I passed the first one, I told myself that there were three dispensaries along the way and it would not be hard to get one that sold this medicine. Lost in thought, I missed the second. The third was crowded. I was impatient to get home and decided to go to the third, the one closer to home but a long way from the second.

As I walked in and uttered the medicine’s name, the attender cheerfully said that it was not available and encouraged me to go to the ‘other shop.’ Wondering what there was to cheer about an unavailability, I moved to the other shop and, to my horror, discovered that it was not available! There was, of course, the helpful suggestion to get to the ‘other shop.’ So, I went to the third shop only to be told that it was out-of-stock and was invited to get to the last shop in town – the one that was closest to my office that I missed going to, the first one. I was utterly upset and annoyed. Finally, I got my medicines at this shop, went outside and stopped to ponder at the message that life was laying out for me.

Take the first opportunity that life presents and don’t wait or procrastinate. Simple things are best done and dusted quickly. Say yes to chances, don’t tarry. Keep life simple – do things now! Sometimes it is the smallest of things that brings the biggest misery. It was a bittersweet pill that I will never forget in my life. I always buy at the first med shop on the way home.  The same does not apply to vegetables, but that is another story!

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Of Silly Questions, Pigeon Holes and Heroes

She was a simple lady, kind of short, and someone you could miss in a crowd. Let me call her Ms. AK. She talked fast and her hands spoke more than she did, gesticulating wildly at times. I did not like her. As did many around, who used to speak ill of her. I kept away from such conversations but could not help listening to an occasional bitching that came my way. She wanted to do business with the company that I worked for. This was many years ago. I was more hoity-toity then. So, you can imagine...

One day she invited me to a breakfast meeting. I winced. Ever wondered how when you are asked for time, the week following or the one after that was a ‘better’ time? She was persistent, and the day finally arrived.

She wore spectacles that were a tad large for her. How do I tell her that? She sat down and immediately started her sales pitch. I responded by asking a question, an inane one, the one that all recruiters use –, “Tell me about yourself.” She sat back. Her eyes rolled up gazing into the infinite past and started…

A daughter of a government official, she had a sister who was a ‘genius’, did very well in class. Her mother wanted AK to be a doctor and made her write the exam. She did ‘what she could’. And she cleared! Medical college admissions then or now, was not easy. I was warming up to her now. She went to the medical college and returned home after ten days. Said she did not like it. Her mother freaked out. And for the next whole year did not speak to her.

She then went to a regular college, and, of course, did well. Became the student union leader. Brought an MNC factory to a grinding stop for they had sacked a principal of a local school. AK was warned that acid would be thrown at her. She did not relent. Now, her story was really getting to be interesting and leaned forward, forgetting my dosas.

After her BSc she had to do ‘something’. Her uncle got her to write an entrance exam for admission to a leading Public sector unit. As usual, she aced the exam. And told her uncle that she did not ‘fit the culture’. So opted out. She was now in deep waters. Disowned by her family, she went to the same factory that she had helped ‘shut down’, seeking a job. The factory manager was furious! A kind man that he was, he relented and gave her a job in sales and marketing even though she was not an ‘MBA’. They gave her the jobs everyone hated to do. She worked hard and won each time. She moved to a larger company who asked her to do a stint in the US taking on an assignment that was surefire failure for anyone who had touched it. She won, and said, she did not know it was an impossible task. I was now at the edge of my seat. She returned to set up her own company, sold it to investors and took on a CEO’s job at this company. Sitting across me was the finest example of someone who fought life harder than any man.

She had been fighting like a warrior in a man’s world all along. And never gave up anytime. It is so easy to judge someone and pigeon hole them as good, bad, ugly! I was now in open admiration for this lady. What a story! In 60 minutes she taught me what it is to live a life of conviction of one’s goals. A shining example of never say die. She gave more to a job, and some more. She won, for she never judged work harshly. She taught me that it is important to see beyond the ostensible image. I became her fan!

To believe in oneself and carry on trying is the staple of champions. To try, and give an honest shot with all the power one has is learning how to win each time, every time. I forgot all rest of the things I said. I found a hero in her. To listen to the voice of the unheard, and see the unseen of a hero. A revelation – to see a hero beyond pigeons in the holes of ordinariness. All because of a ‘silly question’ we often use – ‘tell me something about yourself!’

Of Lessons in Life & Warm Hugs

Ram met S this morning. S was a very simple man. Highly accomplished in his field. Very soft

spoken. Pleasant. He dropped in to tell his boss Ram that he had decided to quit the firm. All

very rushed. Ram was in two minds. He needed S but he was not sure if it was right to keep S

who was getting a big job in another company. S had come in to bid him goodbye and to see if

he could get some advice from him as to how to deal with life and growth within.

Ram was a tough man. Not given to a lot of words. Instead he asked S a question. What will
this change mean to your family? That was a golden question. S calmly explained that it would
be a great one for his family as it would give him more time with his wife who was suffering
from a depression. Something about his wife’s condition that was like a bipolar disorder –
given to bouts of depression, and when she was out of it she was an angel. And she did not
remember a thing about her past behavior. Ram was getting a bit nervous about the sensitive
information coming his way. He wanted to be empathetic but not sure if he was good enough.

S told him that despite all this, he deeply loved his wife and would want to go through any
trouble to be just with her. And that he had been counseled that he should perhaps divorce
her, etc. Ram was now out of his depth. He feebly asked S about how long did the condition
last. About 20% of the time she was in the troubled zone he was told. This was a bit much.
Once in 5 days! And before he could ask more questions, S asked Ram as to what he needed
to do to be a better manager and a human being. Ram was bamboozled! Why then would he
continue to stay with his troubled wife if she was off 20% of the time?

S sat back. For about 80% of the time when she is normal, it is worth every moment, he said.
She was very caring and affectionate, an epitome of goodness, someone to be emulated. S
was lost in his words. And quietly added, “Because I respect her.”

It was Ram’s turn to be silent. What advice could he give to someone who was so humane?
He did what he could do best — walked up to S and gave him a warm hug and clung on to him
a tad more. For in that hug, he had just met his teacher!

Of Dentist Bills and Kindness

They were driving back from the temple. An old mother and her son. She wanted a pill that would kill her toothache. He felt it best to get her a dental check-up. It was a modest clinic, something that he would hesitate to take his mother to. 

He gently held her hand and walked her in. Clean place, young dentist. A pretty looking receptionist. He carefully assisted his mother into the dentist’s chair. Took great care to translate the dentist’s instructions in English of the process, thereafter, patiently escorted her back to the car. 

It was certain that the offending tooth had to be removed. The mother nodded smilingly. The following morning the tooth was extracted. Almost routine stuff. The old lady was asked to wait at the reception thereafter.

Meanwhile, the dentist asked for the son to meet him at his office. “I could not sleep last night, and you were the reason,” he said. “The way you held your mother was not lost on me. My wife, the receptionist, noticed it as well. When I was going to retire to bed, she said – “Hey, do you treat your mother the same way? And will you treat her this way when she is old infirm?” 

“If that is not enough, my pregnant wife felt her her stomach and asked me, “Will the child in me, treat me in the same way, when I am old and hard of hearing?” I was reflecting on the care, respect and gentleness you showed to your mother, and had a restless night of guilt '. 

Care is a matter of the heart in action. Elders need care the way the infants do. The son was clearly at a loss of words. He smiled and nodded, held the dentist’s hands and said that he would be even a better son than he, and left his office.

He met the receptionist, and asked her for the bill. The radiant lady waved him off. Paid in full with a poignant lesson learnt about elder care, she added. 

Life is beautiful, cheerfully waving at the mother. Just beautiful!

Of Payroll nights and Shining Diamonds

He was a different kind of guy. I met him 15 years ago. It was almost 11 PM and I took my briefcase (those days, office-goers had these things called briefcase), and was headed out of my office (those days, no work from home flexibility). As I was going out, I saw a light in the corner of the large work bay. Out of curiosity, I walked towards it and heard some humming and foot tapping. He was the lone guy there, printing reams of paper. Payroll slips, he said. He had some radio in the background, which he switched off, out of respect. Those days there was plenty of respect.

I was new and asked him about his background. He said he did his MBA from a place I had not heard of. This was not going right. For me, a premier institute guy, and an arrogant one at that, it is difficult to absorb this. A one-year program and the institute shut shop after he graduated, he added happily. I winced. He said he graduated in history. My impression of him headed south. And his marks—I will never forget this—48%! Third class, he said with a smile. He said he was glad his college was over. LOL!

Let me call him ‘M’! I asked M why he was working late. He said that it was very important to ensure quality and he was checking everything. It was difficult to ignore this guy. M seemed so happy doing what he was doing. Moreover, he was passionate about doing it right. And he had a sense of humor. My impression about him was melting as he took me through some details. His excellence in his work was shining through. He had a glint in his eye. He looked confident. I started to like this chap. I left the place deep in thought. Excellence is all around if you choose to be aware of it.

The next day, our Regional Manager-West, called me and was pounding me for not finding a right HR lead for the West. I told him I found such a person, and that he was my right hand man. He was my best and had to be empowered, I added. Next I called M, and asked him if he was willing to go to Mumbai as the Regional’s HR head. “Happy to,” he said, adding, “Naukari kari, toh na, na-kari’. Loosely translated - never say no, if there is a job to be done. I had every confidence in him. The best part, he was not even a Manager at that time.

M turned out to be a winner all the way. He was voted the best HR Manager time and again. I had the privilege to be working with him for a few years and then he left. He grew rapidly in a short period of time. His mantra: “Stay positive, be passionate at work, never miss an opportunity, and stay ahead of the game – always.”

M called me recently to let me know that he was going to some faraway fun place — Hawaii. Said, he was chosen as one of the top 1% of performers of one of the top U.S. computer firms. Said, he was going for the 4th time. I forgot all about his background and his third-class marks in college.

You can never put a good man down. What a diamond! We don’t care which mine the diamond came from or its pedigree. Diamonds sparkle in the darkest nights and in the brightest of times. Diamonds are Diamonds. Forever!

Ah yes, I forgot a minor detail, Mahi is an HR Director in that company.