Of Nothingness, Passion and Work

Travel broadens the mind, they say. I was at Hyderabad airport when I met this gent. Let me call him KR. Hair neatly knotted behind his head with a rubber band. Beard neatly left untrimmed. A tee shirt that had seen a lot of the world. He smiled when I joined him. I asked him what he was doing. Said, he was directing a movie! I was surprised. Said it was his dream. He did not want to make it a profession, he added hastily. He would direct only two movies in his life, he added. This was beginning to be interesting.

What would he work on next? He said, he did not know. And where would he find his money? He smiled. Said, he needed just enough to survive. He was going to paint. And was into some natural farming just understanding nature and using his abilities to to her rhythm he said. All self-taught, he added, like sand art. He had seen it somewhere and was curious about it. Experimented on his own, used the right sand, set up the system of lights etc., and practiced it till he got it right. The flourish of his hand was an added style but it did not start there, he said in all modesty. All that his mind conceived that his hands produced.

He was into writing. Had written a book in Telugu. English translation was coming up, he said. The book was about ‘nothingness.’ He was born into a rich family that lost all its wealth when he was 12 years old. They just about survived in a servant’s quarters of their jagir. With a broad grin he said, “My parents gave me nothing.” And that was a boon. He did not have to hanker after money. He loved his dog Dolly, who was his only possession. He learnt a lot from her. He had spent four years of his life doing nothing. Just nothing. Said to his mother, if you can feed Dolly and not expect anything from her, I expected the same from her. His mother just smiled. This nothingness helped him to meditate on life and what he wanted – just be.

What would he work on? He said, he would do something that captivated his mind. We often mix work and value. Work and pay is what plays in our mind. Say, a painting. That was not work! And yet when we purchase it, it would be called a ‘work’ of art. To him it was just an avenue to allow him to ‘be.’ Work, he said, made it look laborious. Enjoy what you do, and it will no longer be work. Experiment with a curious mind and it will no longer be work. Dwell into your being, and work will no longer be onerous. Express yourself and in your fullest freedom, in what you do, and that would not be work.

His parents gave him nothing. And that was far more than something. He gave me nothing and yet something. Follow your passion, beyond the template of success, and satisfaction follows. Pursue your dreams to the road less travelled and you will discover your edge. KR is actually an aspiring engineer from JNTU, loses way, discovers himself, and becomes a celebrated artist in perhaps the most unconventional medium - sand! KR is India’s foremost sand artist today. Travel broadens the mind, they say!

Of Meaningful Chats and Meteoric Careers

He was a maverick. Correction, he is a maverick! Let us call him M. He was a successful sales guy working in a mid-sized IT company. One day, he put down his papers. Said he was getting a much better offer, big fat ESOP and a salary about 3 times his current pay, from an MNC. His CEO, a rock star himself, tried his best to retain him, of no avail. Per process, he had to meet the HR head, a fairly new man in the firm. Everyone was resigned to his resignation.

The HR head knew it was an uphill task trying to reason against a compelling offer. He knew that he was looking at a very talented man, an engineer he did not want to lose. But it looked hopeless. And as all things bright and beautiful, it all starts with a chat.

A dialogue is a difficult thing and this was a crucial conversation. He decided to start with the heart. For, the heart is where life begins and ends anyway. He asked M to speak of what he wanted – not from the head but from his heart - what he valued, what he wanted of life, and where he wanted to reach. He gently added that he had all the time in the world to help him make the right choice. He said he wanted M to succeed in his life and that was all he cared about. And he meant it. You will be surprised how opportunities spring when you keep a willing heart and an open mind, he said.

M spoke about his family, his parents, and wafted into a dream-world of aspirations. It is magical to listen to someone who had so much to ask of life. The HR guy was now even more interested in making sure he supported M. ‘I can help you change the course of your destiny, far beyond your aspirations. And I need 2 years of your life’, he added. M said, he would think it over.

One of the best ways to influence someone is to just listen to them – with care. Helplessness is a stage of inaction of a weak mind and actions abound for the brave heart. M’s strengths and his aspirations were weighed for that day against the potential of the future. M was told he would make a good HR professional and that he would invest in his development, personally. M took a day to agree. The HR guy pressed on ‘ Hey, what about that company’s ‘offer one could never refuse?’ M smiled and said – I just did !

Things happened in a whir. In six months he got seconded to the US office. One day, he called his leader and said he was getting bored. Not unexpected, of course! Another of those conversations – M was told ¬ to get an education, at London School of Economics no less, and added that he would provide all the testimonials he needed. That would be easy to write, was the thoughtful encouragement.

Rise he did, he would. Meteoric it was, of course. M put in hard work, kept an open mind, directed energies to build a career of choice. “Each one has ¬ the edge. The talent edge. Just keep at it, hone it, feed it with a spot of education and a dollop of ‘can-do’ attitude. And smile a lot,” M said. Make bold moves with confidence. Really bold. Ah, the power of a meaningful conversation. The significant changes it brings.

Oh, I forgot to mention, M is the HR Director for a fantastic firm in the social media world. Works out of Singapore. The gracious M never forgot that HR chap.

Of Payroll nights and Shining Diamonds

He was a different kind of guy. I met him 15 years ago. It was almost 11 PM and I took my briefcase (those days, office-goers had these things called briefcase), and was headed out of my office (those days, no work from home flexibility). As I was going out, I saw a light in the corner of the large work bay. Out of curiosity, I walked towards it and heard some humming and foot tapping. He was the lone guy there, printing reams of paper. Payroll slips, he said. He had some radio in the background, which he switched off, out of respect. Those days there was plenty of respect.

I was new and asked him about his background. He said he did his MBA from a place I had not heard of. This was not going right. For me, a premier institute guy, and an arrogant one at that, it is difficult to absorb this. A one-year program and the institute shut shop after he graduated, he added happily. I winced. He said he graduated in history. My impression of him headed south. And his marks—I will never forget this—48%! Third class, he said with a smile. He said he was glad his college was over. LOL!

Let me call him ‘M’! I asked M why he was working late. He said that it was very important to ensure quality and he was checking everything. It was difficult to ignore this guy. M seemed so happy doing what he was doing. Moreover, he was passionate about doing it right. And he had a sense of humor. My impression about him was melting as he took me through some details. His excellence in his work was shining through. He had a glint in his eye. He looked confident. I started to like this chap. I left the place deep in thought. Excellence is all around if you choose to be aware of it.

The next day, our Regional Manager-West, called me and was pounding me for not finding a right HR lead for the West. I told him I found such a person, and that he was my right hand man. He was my best and had to be empowered, I added. Next I called M, and asked him if he was willing to go to Mumbai as the Regional’s HR head. “Happy to,” he said, adding, “Naukari kari, toh na, na-kari’. Loosely translated - never say no, if there is a job to be done. I had every confidence in him. The best part, he was not even a Manager at that time.

M turned out to be a winner all the way. He was voted the best HR Manager time and again. I had the privilege to be working with him for a few years and then he left. He grew rapidly in a short period of time. His mantra: “Stay positive, be passionate at work, never miss an opportunity, and stay ahead of the game – always.”

M called me recently to let me know that he was going to some faraway fun place — Hawaii. Said, he was chosen as one of the top 1% of performers of one of the top U.S. computer firms. Said, he was going for the 4th time. I forgot all about his background and his third-class marks in college.

You can never put a good man down. What a diamond! We don’t care which mine the diamond came from or its pedigree. Diamonds sparkle in the darkest nights and in the brightest of times. Diamonds are Diamonds. Forever!

Ah yes, I forgot a minor detail, Mahi is an HR Director in that company.

Of Departed Flights and Goodness

Let me call him AB. I did not know him well. He was a very senior person in the industry. I held a slightly arm’s length with him. In meetings he was always vociferous and made his points clearly. Today was no different. In all the cacophony in the room, his voice was clear and soft. He ran his own company. I was not sure of him. I thought he was wanting to get something from everyone. After the meeting, he said he would drop me to the airport. I agreed. Nice car, his BMW. We reached the airport. He parked his car and he wanted to have some coffee with me. He was doing some ‘business development’ I thought. He had 40 minutes, he said.

The coffee arrived as did a lean young man with a hint of worry on his forehead. He hesitatingly asked us if we could help him. He had missed his flight and the airline was not in a position to take him on the next without a fresh ticket, which was really expensive. He was going to Srinagar. And he had no money to foot the big cost.

Here we were two suited gentlemen and he thought we wielded some influence! I was not sure what to do. AB did not hesitate. He simply asked some questions and asked me if we would help the man in trouble. He did not wait for a response, and went to the reservation counter and spent the next 30 minutes speaking with passion that we ought to be gentler with our Kashmiri brother. Rulebooks were thrown at us. AB would not give up. I added my two rupees’ worth.

Finally, the reservation manager relented and a fresh ticket was issued for a flight the next day – something that is seldom done. All thanks to AB, for a complete stranger who approached us.

AB need never have done this. Yet he did. And he did not allow for any big drama of gratitude. And made it look easy in the eyes of a stranger who almost gave up hope of getting back and in time, to his family.

How easy it is to judge someone and sometimes unfairly, and carry an impression that is never validated. A simple act of kindness witnessed at close quarters left me in wonderment.

Respect does not grow in an instant. In my case it did. And I was acutely aware of my failing - Inability to see the goodness beyond the image is the same as impaired vision. I thanked the young man. It was time to leave. Our 40 minutes were up. I felt the extra warmth when I hugged AB.

It took a departed flight to understand the goodness in someone.

Of Sinking Cars and Soaring Careers

Many years ago, on a pleasant summer evening, or rather night, a car careened into the still waters of the Kodaikanal Lake in Tamil Nadu. The driver was to take a right turn into the resort, but instead took a left and went down into the lake. All owed to the spirit of Bacchus. Not too bad, considering that the drunk driver managed to just enter the lake at the shallow end. A much sobered man, he ran into the resort, and yelled for help.

The sole staff on duty was a gym instructor, Venky, who was busy attending to his biceps. Venky rushed to the hapless customer, asked him not to worry and that he would take care. Then he, along with some four other men, worked through the night to get the car out of the lake, and had it fully cleaned and serviced. At 7 a.m., he went to the customer and handed the keys to the car, along with a pot of hot coffee and a song on his lips. The customer was delighted and was raving happy.

A General Manager of HR from the head office was on site and he met Venky and gave him and his men a spot award in front of the staff, and exhorted them to have the attitude of Venky. Later that evening he met Venky and asked him if he needed anything from him. Venky was quick to respond – “I need your OWNERSHIP of me,sir”, he said. And so it began, a long period of support to Venky, who wanted to “become someone of gravitas.”

The General Manager, HR asked him to get some education, and encouraged him to continue to stay connected. More, he called him up very often to check on his progress. Venky was a good student of the time and was quick to learn.
Years passed. The GM went on to join another company. Once when he went to another city for some business meeting, and as he alighted from the plane, he saw Venky, who was there to receive him and let him know that he was now in HR. So, the GM managed to get Venky transferred to his own company, given that Venky was very persuasive.

The journey of learning and development of Venky continued. He was a man of great positive outlook, born to serve, and never say die attitude. Later the GM left the company to take on another assignment in another city. Venky, by then, joined a retail company of repute, as an Asst. Manager. The GM never forgot Venky and continued to call him each month and check on his progress and gave him some context of his development. All very good!

Over the few years that passed, the GM continued to contact Venky and learnt that he was growing into a very fine professional. He even persuaded him to buy a flat, in Mumbai. Once as was his wont, when he called Venky to check on him, Venky told him that he was keen to share something important. He said that he owed a lot of his progress to one man – his GM. And broke the news that he had been called by K, and told that he would now be the Chief People Officer of his organization, the Future Group! The GM was in a faint — out of sheer happiness. What a journey! What a life!

I know this to be true. As many years ago, I saw Venky, handing the keys of a half sunken car – all in fine fettle, to a customer and as I handed him that spot award, I saw a glint of a man possessed. He took that and more … the time to study and to learn the hard way.

He was now the CPO of a very large retail chain. When reminded of his fantastic streak of progress, he shrugs it off saying he was in eternal debt to the man who drove his car into the lake. It got him to think what he needed to do in life, and reinvent himself.

As for sinking cars and soaring careers, it all starts at the altar of attitude: A will to be relentless, to serve and be positive in the face of pressure, and deliver relentlessly. I wish there were more cars that dive into the lake and more Venkys become CPOs Life is beautiful!

Of Pencil Stubs and Recognition

I can never forget Prema teacher. Many years back my father got transferred from Kolkata to Chennai. As it was middle of the term, I had lost six months of school and struggled to catch up on studies. I joined fourth standard and worked really hard to keep pace with the others. Mid-term exam results were upon us, and the dreaded day came up, when the class teacher would read out all our report cards. Ms Prema called out our names and to each one she said some words of encouragement. The toppers got shiny cups and a certificate of merit. My name was read out the last as I was new to the class. She handed with flourish a green colored stub of a pencil to me and said, “I am sure you will do much better in the coming days.” 'This is for your efforts', she said and patted me on my back.

The moment was special—while other students were given a trophy and a certificate, I was given a used pencil stub. But that was priceless. That pencil till date remains as the single most memorable recognition in my life. It left a deep impression on me for a reason: it was my teacher’s way of reposing faith and trust in me. To the toppers, it was an acknowledgment of an achievement, to me, it was to cheer me on.

Years passed and I got married. I remember my wife had cooked us our first meal. I had hardly had my first morsel when she asked me how it was. I smiled, and said it was the most wonderful food I had ever had and added that it was much better than my mother's cooking. A different matter that my mother was not around. It was terrific moment of bonding. I felt great, and she felt as if she had won ' Master Chef'. I realized that, in that instant, both the giver and the receiver both feel wonderful. Voila! This is so easy.

Recently, I went to a colleague at her workplace. It was festooned with certificates and trophies. I asked her what was the most prized one in that lot, and she picked among all her medals, a handwritten note given by her boss. Priceless, she said. That piece of paper mattered the most, as it was a real token of appreciation of her achievement, albeit small. He had come over to her desk and personally pinned it on her board, she said. I could see pride in her eyes, that special moment of joy that she was reliving.

This morning I went to the Badminton court to meet someone. There were a bunch of my colleagues playing there. They invited me to play, and I had never played that game. I started with a lot of tentativeness, and for each of my return of the shuttle, there was much applause and encouragement. When I left the court , I was feeling like a champion. Recognition is like oxygen, a life giver. Everybody needs it. People work in organizations, but they stay because there is someone who cares, and values what they do.

We all need appreciation. Even bosses need them. As do your spouse, children and other family members. Anyone. Facebook cracked the code and added the 'like' feature (and not the 'dislike' one). Small wonder we turn to it, for there are many out there who care to 'like' what you post. Small acts of kindness go a long way. We tend to find faults easily. Can we catch people doing something right? In that moment, it can be life changing. For these are the moments that matter! And shows that you care.

Start recognizing and appreciating anyone you care about, if you have not already. Your spouse, colleagues, friends, relatives all need a hug. Even virtual will do.. And let me know what your call meant to that old aunt that you almost forgot, or to your long lost friend who made a difference to your life. This morning I remembered the green pencil stub of Ms Prema and I smiled.

Of Gifts and Return Gifts

Recently, a senior colleague of mine came in from the United States to meet with us.  Let me call her M. A feisty lady, strong willed and tough, she had a gentle side too as I discovered.  I liked her. She was warm and caring. She wanted to meet some orphan children at a modestly funded NGO in Hyderabad. She had come prepared for the visit having spent a whole day shopping for gifts for girls. Her goodies included some shampoo, hair oils, bright-hued hair pins and clips, some chap sticks for cracked lips and warm clothes for the mild winter of Hyderabad. Very thoughtful!

Her trip to the orphanage was eventful, both for her and for many others who she had invited to accompany her. Giving is very touching. The girls were very excited. What M did was to make sure that there was a more sustainable program that would give the orphans a decent education and a life. She had come to the place a year ago, and on that visit, had promised a girl that she would return — and she did. She gave the girls hope, a vision, a reason to live, and a life of accomplishment. Very heartrending!

Later that evening, she called her teenage son who was in college in the US, (his morning) and recounted the day, of where it all started – the day of shopping for gifts for the orphans, to the day she spent with them.  M told me about her chat with her son and the calmness that she had experienced. She added that he seemed ‘off-color’ and was more lost in the exams that were a day away. I told her that one never knows what children pick up as values, and that she could be surprised.

The next day, I met M in the morning, and she had just got off a call from her son. She had asked him whether he had studied well for his exams. He mentioned quite casually that he had gone to the supermarket and spent over four hours. M was furious and asked what he kept him away from his studies for half a day. Her son replied that he had been shopping for warm blankets and food for those affected by cyclone Sandy. He had also formed a group of friends who would help the homeless.

M’s eyes were moist. She no longer cared about the exams. Her son had passed the test, the test of what matters in life – values. She had a faraway look in her eyes.  The gift had been returned and how!  I smiled.

Of Advice — Received and Given

I am just amazed at the amount of free advice that is given out and received each day — all well intended and some very profound.  Some said in jest but precious all the same. So, here it how it all began…

‘Get up early, it makes you healthy wealthy and wise’, said my sleepy wife. It was 6 am. That morning I met my friend Ganesh from Mumbai and he mentioned quite casually that the best advice he received was from his colleague Kumar, who told him, “Sell your bike before you go to Bombay,” This seemed to be an everyday advice anyone would give, but not for Ganesh. This called for his giving up something he really loved – his bike. And yet he knew that there was some truth in the advice as given his health condition, he could not afford to take chances. He said that over the years, he could count off many near misses he has had on the roads in Bombay and remembered Kumar. Advice, oftentimes, may not be the thing you want to hear!

That afternoon, I met my colleague of many years, Ravi, and he said he received the best advice from me! I had asked him to ‘add some focus and commitment to life’ and asked him to ‘buy a house’. He had said it was beyond his means. I added that most things were ‘within your grasp, beyond your reach’, and that he should try. Today, he is a proud owner of a flat in Mumbai, and his appreciation (pun intended), knew no bounds.

This was beginning to be interesting. The same afternoon Venkat, a head hunter called me. I got the best advice from him several years ago. He had told me: “You don’t get far being a rolling stone, so don’t change your jobs every 3 years.” Precious! How can I ever thank him enough? Incidentally, he called to let me know that he had changed his job, but that is another story.

I came home. The maid servant was engrossed in her mopping. I lauded her for it. She responded saying that it was her duty to ‘do simple things exceedingly well’. Here she was giving me some sage advice in a graceful way. I was touched.

Later that evening, I met my sons, one of whom told me, “You got to relax, Dad!” And the other came in a few minutes later and added, “Dad, you got to chill!” I called my mother who lives in Chennai, who asked me to take care of my health. Big hugs, mom!  Advice was raining on me. My wife asked me not to “think too much” but remain “in the moment.” This was a Family package of advice – precious indeed!

It occurs to me that the world cares, people care, friends care, family cares and just about anyone you meet – care for you. They all express it in different ways.  We like some of the advice we get, some we don’t. I recognize that if anyone gives an advice, it is because they care!  I felt good.

A dear friend called me and advised me to pen my thoughts. Even as I write this, I am beaming with the joy of gratitude, of a day well spent – heeding the priceless advice... of the priceless!

Mentoring and Why I Polish My Shoes

A compass; an instrument that provides direction, most often leading us to our destination.

An anchor; a guide in our journey, professional or personal, most often helps us stay rooted to our goals.

A mentor is that anchor, and that compass in our lives that we need to get our ship to the shores of our choice.

In my career of several years, mentoring has played an important role. I have been a protégé and in more recent times, a mentor. Mentoring is a personal way of sharing knowledge and ideas, combining perspectives in new, motivating ways, with your juniors and peers. It is a developmental partnership. One that for me has even got me to do the most basic of habits, of polishing my shoes!

A mentor is someone we speak to, our sounding board, a mirror, maybe even our microscope or telescope, a compass and an anchor. He/she is someone who helps us create a space for reflection through a few simple questions that help lead to the path of self discovery of our potential.

Creating self awareness in the mind of the protégé: ‘Who am I? Where am I?’

• Building a vision in the mind of the protégé:  ‘Where do I want to go?’
• Change to be brought about: ‘What do I need to change to get where I want to be?’
• ‘What do I do to get ahead in my goal?’

These simple questions are the crux of every mentor-protégé relationship. The way these questions might be put across and embedded in your professional and personal journey is what makes every mentor-protégé relationship unique and exciting.

Over the years I have been lucky to have numerous colleagues and seniors as mentors. Many of them are the ones I still turn to for advice and guidance. One of the first mentors’ experience in my professional life that I will never forget, was the one I shared with my first boss. I was working as a management trainee. He had this knack of noticing the good in people more than their faults!  I for one did not lose a moment to point out a fault. My boss noticed this in me, and could have easily called me out on it, but he didn’t. I used to have a habit of not polishing my shoes. Almost every day, my shoes were unpolished and muddied, walking through the narrow road I took to work. But again, my boss never said anything about this to me. A few months later, the rainy season began, and my shoes were clean, walking in the rain. My boss looked at me and said, “Nathan, your shoes are polished, well done!” A little embarrassed but only because I knew he had noticed the earlier times when they weren’t shiny, I mumbled thanks and walked out of the room.

The next day onwards, what do you think was the one thing I did before I set out to work? - polish my shoes! He caught me off guard, but at a time when something I did was right, as opposed to pointing out something wrong that I was repeatedly doing. This has been a memorable lesson, one that got me to notice people doing something right and point it out. I realized early in my career, positive affirmations are more powerful than negative comments and helps change behavior. A mantra that has been extremely helpful in my relationships as a professional.

You can have a mentor for different aspects of your life. You can have a mentor for helping you with your finance, or a spiritual mentor, a technology mentor or a mentor for your career. Choose your mentor well. Someone who you look up to, and has the time and the patience to help you. Someone you can rely on to keep you honest when you falter. And, when you see someone who meets your threshold, all you need to do is to reach out and ask that person. Over time I have found a need to choose new mentors and that is equally important. So go on, find a mentor if you don’t have one already, and work towards building a meaningful and successful association. Shine your shoes, shine your life.

We also need to be ‘coached’ to be better professionals and that is another story... so stay tuned.