Slice of Work #10 — 'Stand up': A Lesson in Leadership

I thought I was going to lose my job. It was early in my career and I was the Administration Officer of an MNC in the heart of then, Bihar. I was responsible for guest houses and the Transport. No Uber, Olas or tourist taxis then. We had to make do with company owned cars. The nearest towns were two hours away. And each time a company car went to either Dhanbad or Ranchi, it came back faithfully to the garage for repairs, owed much to the wonderful state of our roads.

We had all of five cars in this explosives factory and all of them were in the sick bay. An officer had requisitioned a car and I explained that no cars were available. He was upset and said that production was at stake and that I was responsible ! I was stressed out. What was I to do? I had no cars to give him. The situation was grim. As expected, the General Manager of the factory called me to his room. It was a long walk to his office. This was the second time that this had happened under my watch.

As soon as I walked in he started to pound me without giving me a chance to explain. He would not relent. I was in a daze. The room started to look large and I was weak in my knees as he went on his tirade Suddenly the door opened without a warning and my boss barged into the room and physically stood in front of me blocking me off from the GM and said – ‘While the lad is responsible, I am accountable for this failure. What can he do when all the cars are worn out? I should have budgeted for new cars. If anything, ask me, not him.’ He then turned to me and asked me to leave the room. I did not wait, I ran.

My boss returned to his room in some time. Spoke nothing other than to say that it was all taken care of. He had turned in his own personal car for the job. And patted me on my back and said that he should have given him a heads up. My anxieties fizzled in that moment, and I was teary eyed. Much later, I would realize that I had had the experience of what true leadership meant – to ‘stand up’ for your team member in the hour of need. It was easy for him to throw me under the bus, but he didn’t. I have never forgotten Capt. Arvind Nautiyal. Thank you Captain for giving me a great lesson in leadership – To Stand Up.

Of Silly Questions, Pigeon Holes and Heroes

She was a simple lady, kind of short, and someone you could miss in a crowd. Let me call her Ms. AK. She talked fast and her hands spoke more than she did, gesticulating wildly at times. I did not like her. As did many around, who used to speak ill of her. I kept away from such conversations but could not help listening to an occasional bitching that came my way. She wanted to do business with the company that I worked for. This was many years ago. I was more hoity-toity then. So, you can imagine...

One day she invited me to a breakfast meeting. I winced. Ever wondered how when you are asked for time, the week following or the one after that was a ‘better’ time? She was persistent, and the day finally arrived.

She wore spectacles that were a tad large for her. How do I tell her that? She sat down and immediately started her sales pitch. I responded by asking a question, an inane one, the one that all recruiters use –, “Tell me about yourself.” She sat back. Her eyes rolled up gazing into the infinite past and started…

A daughter of a government official, she had a sister who was a ‘genius’, did very well in class. Her mother wanted AK to be a doctor and made her write the exam. She did ‘what she could’. And she cleared! Medical college admissions then or now, was not easy. I was warming up to her now. She went to the medical college and returned home after ten days. Said she did not like it. Her mother freaked out. And for the next whole year did not speak to her.

She then went to a regular college, and, of course, did well. Became the student union leader. Brought an MNC factory to a grinding stop for they had sacked a principal of a local school. AK was warned that acid would be thrown at her. She did not relent. Now, her story was really getting to be interesting and leaned forward, forgetting my dosas.

After her BSc she had to do ‘something’. Her uncle got her to write an entrance exam for admission to a leading Public sector unit. As usual, she aced the exam. And told her uncle that she did not ‘fit the culture’. So opted out. She was now in deep waters. Disowned by her family, she went to the same factory that she had helped ‘shut down’, seeking a job. The factory manager was furious! A kind man that he was, he relented and gave her a job in sales and marketing even though she was not an ‘MBA’. They gave her the jobs everyone hated to do. She worked hard and won each time. She moved to a larger company who asked her to do a stint in the US taking on an assignment that was surefire failure for anyone who had touched it. She won, and said, she did not know it was an impossible task. I was now at the edge of my seat. She returned to set up her own company, sold it to investors and took on a CEO’s job at this company. Sitting across me was the finest example of someone who fought life harder than any man.

She had been fighting like a warrior in a man’s world all along. And never gave up anytime. It is so easy to judge someone and pigeon hole them as good, bad, ugly! I was now in open admiration for this lady. What a story! In 60 minutes she taught me what it is to live a life of conviction of one’s goals. A shining example of never say die. She gave more to a job, and some more. She won, for she never judged work harshly. She taught me that it is important to see beyond the ostensible image. I became her fan!

To believe in oneself and carry on trying is the staple of champions. To try, and give an honest shot with all the power one has is learning how to win each time, every time. I forgot all rest of the things I said. I found a hero in her. To listen to the voice of the unheard, and see the unseen of a hero. A revelation – to see a hero beyond pigeons in the holes of ordinariness. All because of a ‘silly question’ we often use – ‘tell me something about yourself!’

Of Pencil Stubs and Recognition

I can never forget Prema teacher. Many years back my father got transferred from Kolkata to Chennai. As it was middle of the term, I had lost six months of school and struggled to catch up on studies. I joined fourth standard and worked really hard to keep pace with the others. Mid-term exam results were upon us, and the dreaded day came up, when the class teacher would read out all our report cards. Ms Prema called out our names and to each one she said some words of encouragement. The toppers got shiny cups and a certificate of merit. My name was read out the last as I was new to the class. She handed with flourish a green colored stub of a pencil to me and said, “I am sure you will do much better in the coming days.” 'This is for your efforts', she said and patted me on my back.

The moment was special—while other students were given a trophy and a certificate, I was given a used pencil stub. But that was priceless. That pencil till date remains as the single most memorable recognition in my life. It left a deep impression on me for a reason: it was my teacher’s way of reposing faith and trust in me. To the toppers, it was an acknowledgment of an achievement, to me, it was to cheer me on.

Years passed and I got married. I remember my wife had cooked us our first meal. I had hardly had my first morsel when she asked me how it was. I smiled, and said it was the most wonderful food I had ever had and added that it was much better than my mother's cooking. A different matter that my mother was not around. It was terrific moment of bonding. I felt great, and she felt as if she had won ' Master Chef'. I realized that, in that instant, both the giver and the receiver both feel wonderful. Voila! This is so easy.

Recently, I went to a colleague at her workplace. It was festooned with certificates and trophies. I asked her what was the most prized one in that lot, and she picked among all her medals, a handwritten note given by her boss. Priceless, she said. That piece of paper mattered the most, as it was a real token of appreciation of her achievement, albeit small. He had come over to her desk and personally pinned it on her board, she said. I could see pride in her eyes, that special moment of joy that she was reliving.

This morning I went to the Badminton court to meet someone. There were a bunch of my colleagues playing there. They invited me to play, and I had never played that game. I started with a lot of tentativeness, and for each of my return of the shuttle, there was much applause and encouragement. When I left the court , I was feeling like a champion. Recognition is like oxygen, a life giver. Everybody needs it. People work in organizations, but they stay because there is someone who cares, and values what they do.

We all need appreciation. Even bosses need them. As do your spouse, children and other family members. Anyone. Facebook cracked the code and added the 'like' feature (and not the 'dislike' one). Small wonder we turn to it, for there are many out there who care to 'like' what you post. Small acts of kindness go a long way. We tend to find faults easily. Can we catch people doing something right? In that moment, it can be life changing. For these are the moments that matter! And shows that you care.

Start recognizing and appreciating anyone you care about, if you have not already. Your spouse, colleagues, friends, relatives all need a hug. Even virtual will do.. And let me know what your call meant to that old aunt that you almost forgot, or to your long lost friend who made a difference to your life. This morning I remembered the green pencil stub of Ms Prema and I smiled.

Of Affection, Appreciation and Gratitude

I left for my morning walk and came near a park. An eight-year-old child running off the park into a busy road had my heart racing. Suddenly a man appeared from nowhere and scooped up the child, just in time and laughed heartily. And the child screamed with joy, “Dad, you saved my life! You are best father in the world.” That was father-son bonding at its best. Whew! No chiding, no shouting; just two souls in a bond of affection—precious, timeless.

Tea at home after a walk was a routine affair. My neighbor dropped in with his daughter Priya, a youngster who had secured admission into a good technology college. My wife congratulated Priya and sang her praise in high notes, only to be told by the neighbor that this was not a big deal, etc, downplaying her achievement. Priya was a bit under the sun and under the cloud at the same time, and she ran off.

The afternoon brought in news of an unfortunate nature: A good friend and a guru of many years passed away after a brief illness. He was 63. I shared the news of his demise and wrote a few lines of what VS Mahesh meant to me, on Facebook and other groups. Felt guilty that i had not told him this. There was a flood of eulogy from people talking about what a wonderful man he was … and this went on for a long time. We captured our thoughts in a page, which we sent to his widow, later that week.

This morning I was deep in thought of those 3 incidents. It struck me that as we grow older; our propensity to express our affection for someone goes down. Our appreciation, and our gratitude, and what people mean to us, goes down over time. It does pick up when one is a lot older, as in a grandparent’s unbridled love of their grandchild, something that they missed out as a parent, unrequited love, no holds barred ... Small wonder grandparents are loved the world over. 

The child taught me unconditional love. I am sure Priya would have loved to be acknowledged. And what use of praising someone when he long since gone?

Perhaps, in our living day, can we catch someone doing something right each day? Can we appreciate someone once a day? Can we let our friends know what they mean to us? And express gratitude to people who made a difference, in our lives … when they are still around? Maybe you want to start right now? Call your aunt / uncle / dad / mom / friend anyone! And let them know what they mean to you and why. I am sure VS Mahesh would have loved that.